"Kylie is not physically right for the role.” Was the feedback regarding my attempt at acting in TV & Film; unless I was willing to play a bimbo or hooker - which I was not! On stage it didn't matter (as much) how disproportioned my body was - there I thrived! And started working out issues I didn’t even know I had, in both comedies and dramas… Eventually I was able to "change the body that I came in, so I could feel like a damn queen.” And thank goodness J.Lo and the other Kylie clan made what remains popular.

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This is my story, and I'm sticking to it:

I always got called in from my [head]shots. Had my first agent interview with House of Representatives weeks after moving to LA. The owner kept asking if I would go out Latina, literally listing every country… I said 'But, I'm not, and there are so many people in LA who are.' I just did not get it/her = thank goodness! I could have started out on a lie (which I abhor) crashed and burned. I was not able to get (theatrical) representation, in the almost 10 years I exhausted myself trying. I got called in to lots, but after seeing (all of) me they’d claim, "We already have your type." I would leave pissed off every time! 'Didn't they know that before they called me in?!' I consider myself smart, but the brutal honesty I'd grown up with in NY was very much lacking in LA.

 

When I was asked to work for a talent manager I did not hesitate. I got myself auditions and was privy to all the feedback... It was never about my talent - people loved what I brought to the material and my hair (always been a good thing). It was most often, "She's not physically right for the role." One casting director even suggested I lose 20 pounds or gain 200. I'm 5'5" and was118 lbs = I had nothing left to give! And was NOT about to put on weight; I’d worked too hard to be in the best shape possible! 

 

I also worked in other aspects of the industry, in order to make a living and experience... was a Paid Reader for: Aaron Griffith, Vicki Huff, Jeff Passero, Patrick Baca & Feldstein/Paris. Casting Assistant for: Renited Whited, Michael Greer & Jean Scoccimarro. Executive Assistant to the head of domestic distribution at Miramax - where my bosses (with some of the best intentions) offered to "introduce me" to Bob or Harvey Weinstein. I blurted out a curt, 'No thank you! I may never make it in this industry, but it's not going to be like that.' I continued to manage other talent, opened a workshop company, stayed on stage - inviting everyone I'd ever met to each play, and helped a lot of people with each endeavor! 

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Eventually I was able "to change the body that I came in” (which required two surgeries). I then began to use another acquired skill = started personal training and got not just physically stronger but mentally. I was quickly signed by Paradigm in NY (commercially) and at that point I was humbled enough to start submitting to student & indie films, regardless how little they paid. I booked a lot! Finally I had a demo reel I was proud of. I went back to LA, booked a few national commercials, got back on stage, and starred in the only web series I ever submitted for - obtaining a ton of quality footage that helped secure my niche as a bitch - I would parody the mean/jealous girls who bullied me growing up, including my Mother.

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But the TV world remained elusive. Then I heard the buzz about Atlanta, packed up and went to check things out... Within a month I secured a TV/Film agent (FINALLY), was hired at a private gym, and loved all the city had to offer... So I decided to stay. I booked a fun role that opens "Cobra Kai” on Netflix (though I originally won the role of Johnny’s ex) I was told by the creators SONY would not sign off on me due to my lack of credits; still I had fun! I booked more indies, leads in Lifetime & Hallmark films, commercials, Nancy Reagan in "The First Lady” on Showtime - with an A-list cast (it was cancelled and my footage was never seen) and recently was on hold for a series regular/contract role on the new ABC soap "Beyond the Gates” (didn’t book it). I've invested a lot into my career and have faith there will be more returns...

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Thank God (in 2010) I was introduced to the rooms of Al-Anon (friends and families of addicts) have visited others programs gaining compassion and understanding - of myself and others; I hate that I love ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunction). These programs, fellow travelers, and God provide the support I need. I didn’t always fight for my life, instead I escaped, and though each move served me in different ways, I had to learn that "wherever you go there you are" (NY, LA, FL, ATL) and come to embrace "Rejection is God's Protection". Had I made it a minute sooner I would not have survived. I’ve healed huge wounds and keep learning how to process those pesky things called feelings. I'm proud of my: tenacity, integrity, the joy for my craft, and find it easier to navigate the world - physically, professionally, and personally. I’m comfortable in my skin and my thinking is also right-sized (most of the time ;D). I'm immensely grateful for those who believe in me and never forgot me! Even when I didn’t achieve monetary wins; it’s all been valuable!

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​I got back to writing through Covid and hope to share more of my stories with you…

Completed the pilots and first seasons for: 

1. THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE aka SIZE MATTERS - sitcom outlining my life in the industry.

Because "Laughter is music for the soul to dance to."

2. MIDDLE OF THE BED - episodic about a chapter of my life with an extremely sick and suffering addict,

which lead to my bottom = understanding why I was with him and so many before him.

3. A WAY IN - movie-of-the-week(?)

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Please stay tuned; there is more to come…