"Kylie is not physically right for the role.” Was the feedback regarding my many attempts to act in TV & Film; unless I was willing to play a bimbo or hooker - which I was not! On stage it didn't matter (as much) how disproportioned my body was - there I thrived! And was able to work out issues I didn’t even know I had, in both comedies and dramas… Ironically my very first role was in a skit entitled "So Proudly we Heal". Eventually I was able to "change the body that I came in, so I could feel like a damn queen.” Thank goodness J.Lo, and others, made what remains popular.

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WENT FROM A SIZE 9 TO A SIZE 2, an E cup to a B​

(pics below)​

This is my story, and I'm sticking to it:

No amount of diet or exercise could transform my body, and believe you me I tried/exhausted - everything!!!

I submitted for roles thru the trade papers, got called in from my [head]shots, and prepared... impressed lots of casting directors, who called me back to meet the directors & producers, but I wasn't booking, nor could I secure an agent.

 

My first agent interview was with House of Representatives, weeks after arriving in LA. The owner suggested I go out Latina. I said, 'But I'm not, don't speak the language, and there are plenty of women here who are.' Still she preceded to list every (LA) country; in hopes I would agree. I didn't (get it) so she passed on me. I got called by several others, who would apologetically claim, "We already have your type." I was so frustrated - didn't they know that before they called me in?! The brutal honesty, I'd grown up with and come to appreciate, in NY was practically non-existent in LA. I was not able to get representation in the 10 years I tried to.

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I had to make a living and was over bartending. So, when I was asked to work for a talent manager I did not hesitate. I got myself and others auditions and was privy to all the feedback... It was never about my talent - people liked me, my professionalism, what I brought to the material, and my hair ;D What I heard most, "Kylie's not physically right for the role." One casting director even suggested I lose 20 pounds or gain 200. I always worked out and starved myself to get down to118 lbs; with nothing left to give! I was NOT about to gain weight; I’d worked too hard to be in the best shape possible! 

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As time dragged on... I got to know more people in the industry and was offered some very lucratiive poisitons - most I turned down: a six figure starting salary at Epstein-Wyckoff (whiich required me to give up my SAG card, submit/pitch actresses for roles I knew I could play - ugh, no thanks!) and was offered a position as a writer at USA after Jeff Wachtel read a film I wrote. I didn't know enough or I would have taken that job. But I gained a lot of experience by freelancing as: a Paid Reader for: Aaron Griffith, Vicki Huff, Jeff Passero, Patrick Baca & Feldstein/Paris. Casting Assistant for: Renited Whited, Michael Greer & Jean Scoccimarro, then became the Exec. Asst. to the head of domestic distribution at Miramax. My bosses (with the best intentions) offered to "introduce me" to Bob or Harvey Weinstein. I said, 'No thank you; I may never make it in this industry, but it's not going to be like that.' This was before the "Me too" movement and they proceded to send me lists of women who had. Years later (after Harvey's arrest) one of them even wrote me and ssaid, "I've seen your work - you would have had an Oscar by now." Again I'm sure he meant that as a compliment. I continued to manage other actors, opened a top notch acting workshop company (Show & Tell) stayed on stage - inviting everyone I'd ever met to each performance, and helped a lot of people...

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Eventually I was able to transform my body, but I was over LA, and moved back to NY hoping for some unconditional familial love, which did not exist. I also did not realize I'd have to completely start over - as no one in the industry knew me and I did not have a body of work (on tape) to show what I could do... I continued to work out my frustrations at the gym and after countless people approached me for tips, I decided to get certified and have worked as a personal trainer ever since.

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I was signed by Paradigm (commercially) and humbled enough to submit (again) to student & indie films - difference being I booked, a lot! I was able to set up a meeting with Matt Penn, the exec. prod of "Law & Order", and booked my first TV role from him. But I still could not secure an agent for TV & Film. Now the problem was my lack of credits. So, I continued to work for peanuts, booked an off-Broadway play at an Equity open call, and put together a decent demo reel. Went back to LA, got a commercial agent - booked several national spots, stayed on stage throughout, booked more indies, a web series - which was the begiinning of my parodying the mean/jealous girls who bullied me growing up, including my Mother. I popped in to the casting fans I acquired to reintroduce myself. One commented, "I never realized you're so small." I told him I wasn't and shared my transformation story. He suggested I change my name (again); I did that years ago, like it, and have kept it.

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A theatrical agent remained elusive. So, I made a pitstop in Florida (where I went to college/friends reside) and was able to get a TV/Film agent (FINALLY!) booked a guest spot on "The Glades", was on hold for "Burn Notice" but I already said yes to a role on "Guiding Light" and that was pretty much it as Florida's - most went to New Orleans after Katrina. Then I started hearing about Atlanta, researched, and packed up to check things out... Within a month I signed with another TV/Film agent, booked Judy on "Cobra Kai” (was on hold a month for Johnny’s ex/Shannon, the creators told me they fought for me but SONY would not sign off). I've since booked several leads in Lifetime & Hallmark films, lots of commercials, Nancy Reagan in "The First Lady” on Showtime (was cancelled along with my footage) and was on hold for a contract role on "Beyond the Gates”. I continue to work hard and keep getting close to having a career...​​​

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*In the midst of my confusion I was introduced to the rooms of Al-Anon (friends and families of addicts) then ACA - gaining compassion and understanding - of myself and others. These 12-Step programs, fellow travelers, and God provide the love and support I needed/was lacking. I didn’t always fight for my life, instead I escaped by doing "geographics" and though each move served me in different ways, I had to learn "wherever you go there you are" and embrace "Rejection is God's Protection". I'm now clear - had I made it a minute sooner (like Marilyn Monroe) I would not have survived. I have battle scars, but I’ve also healed some big wounds, and can sit with my feelings. I'm proud of my: tenacity, integrity, the joy and excitement that remains for my craft, and find it easier to navigate the world - physically, professionally, and personally. I’m pretty comfortable in my skin and my thinking is right-sized too (most of the time :D). I'm immensely grateful to everyone who ever believed in me and encouraged me to stick with it. Even when I didn’t achieve monetary wins; it has all been valuable!

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WENT FROM A SIZE 9 TO A SIZE 2 (overnight) and an E cup to a B

     7.5 lbs were surgically removed - breast reduction & liposuction​​​

                       And my hair is now lighter too ;D

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​I got back to writing through Covid and hope to share more of my stories with you…

Completed the pilots and first seasons of: 

1. THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE - sitcom outlining my life in the industry. "Laughter is music for the soul to dance to."

2. MIDDLE OF THE BED - episodic about a chapter of my life with an extremely sick and suffering addict, which lead to my bottom.

Currently working on:

3. THE PRESENT FROM HER PAST - Rom-Com

4. A WAY IN - Thriller                                                                                                                            

5. STAFFED - Sitcom                                                                                                                             

And may revisit:

6. THAT'S THE TICKET - Dark comedy feature I wrote about my driving fiascos... 

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Please stay tuned; I'm pretty sure there's more to come…