"Kylie is not physically right for the role.” Was the feedback regarding most of my attempts to act in TV & Film; unless I was willing to play a bimbo or hooker - which I was not! On stage it didn't matter (as much) how disproportioned my body was - there I thrived! And started working out issues I didn’t even know I had, in both comedies and dramas…

Eventually I was able to "change the body that I came in, so I could feel like a damn queen.” And thank goodness J.Lo and the other Kylie clan made what remains popular.

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This is my story, and I'm sticking to it:

I always got called in from my [head]shots. My first agent interview came only weeks after arriving in LA. The owner kept asking if I would go out Latina, literally listing every country… I said 'But, I'm not, and there are so many people in LA who are.' I got called in to several others, but after seeing (all of) me they’d claim, "We already have your type." I would leave pissed off every time! 'Didn't they know that before they called me in?!' I consider myself smart, but the brutal honesty I'd grown up with in NY was lacking in LA. And I was not able to get (theatrical) representation, in the almost 10 years I exhausted myself trying.

 

When I was asked to work for a talent manager I did not hesitate. I got myself auditions and was privy to all the feedback... It was never about my talent - people loved what I brought to the material and my hair (always been a good thing). It was most often, "She's not physically right for the role." One casting director even suggested I lose 20 pounds or gain 200. I'm 5'5" and was118 lbs = I had nothing left to give! And was NOT about to put on weight; I’d worked too hard to be in the best shape possible! 

 

So I worked in other aspects of the industry, in order to make a living and gain experience... was a Paid Reader for: Aaron Griffith, Vicki Huff, Jeff Passero, Patrick Baca & Feldstein/Paris. Casting Assistant for: Renited Whited, Michael Greer & Jean Scoccimarro. Executive Assistant to the head of domestic distribution at Miramax - where my bosses (with some of the best intentions) offered to "introduce me" to Bob or Harvey Weinstein. I blurted out a curt, 'No thank you! I may never make it in this industry, but it's not going to be like that.' I continued to manage other talent, opened/operated a workshop company, stayed on stage - inviting everyone I'd ever met to each play, and helped a lot of people with each endeavor! 

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Eventually I was able to change the body that I came in (which required two surgeries). I then began to use another acquired skill = started personal training and got not just physically stronger but mentally. Went back to NY and was quickly signed by Paradigm in (commercially) and at that point I was humbled enough to start submitting to student & indie films (regardless how little they paid) and booked a lot! Finally I had a demo reel I was proud of. Went back to LA, got a commercial agent and booked several national spots, got back on stage, and starred in the only web series I ever submitted for - obtaining a ton of quality footage that helped secure my niche as a bitch - parodying the mean/jealous girls who bullied me growing up, including my Mother.

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But the TV world remained elusive. Then I heard the buzz about Atlanta, packed up and went to check things out... Within a month I secured a TV/Film agent (FINALLY), was hired at a private gym, and loved all the city had to offer... So I decided to stay. I booked a fun role that opens "Cobra Kai” on Netflix (though I originally won the role of Johnny’s ex/Shannon) I was told by the creators SONY would not sign off on me due to my lack of credits; still I had fun! I booked sevearl leads in Lifetime & Hallmark films, commercials, Nancy Reagan in "The First Lady” on Showtime - with an A-list cast (it was cancelled and so was my footage) and was put on hold for a contract role on the new CBS soap "Beyond the Gates” (didn’t book it).

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Thank God (in 2010) I was introduced to the rooms of Al-Anon (friends and families of addicts) have visited others programs including ACA - gaining compassion and understanding - of myself and others. These programs, fellow travelers, and God provide the support I need. I didn’t always fight for my life, instead I escaped, and though each move served me in different ways, I had to learn that "wherever you go there you are" (NY, LA, FL, ATL) and come to embrace "Rejection is God's Protection". Had I made it a minute sooner I would not have survived. I’ve healed huge wounds and keep learning how to process those pesky things called feelings. I'm proud of my: tenacity, integrity, the joy for my craft, and find it easier to navigate the world - physically, professionally, and personally now. I’m comfortable in my skin and my thinking is also right-sized (most of the time ;D). I'm immensely grateful for those who believe in me and never forgot me! Even when I didn’t achieve monetary wins; it’s all been valuable!

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​I got back to writing through Covid and hope to share more of my stories with you…

Completed the pilots and first seasons for: 

1. THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE - sitcom outlining my life in the industry.

Because "Laughter is music for the soul to dance to."

2. MIDDLE OF THE BED - episodic about a chapter of my life with an extremely sick and suffering addict,

which lead to my bottom = understanding why I was with him and so many before him.

Currently working on:

3. THE PRESENT FROM HER PAST - a Rom-Com

4. A WAY IN - a Thriller

5. STAFFED - a sitcom

And my revisit:

6. THAT'S THE TICKET - a dark comedy feature

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Please stay tuned; I have faith there will be much more to come…